How to Reduce Jealousy & Feel Happier with Your Life

Jan 8

Jealousy is not a fun feeling - it’s hopeless. You might feel hopeless about obtaining a certain lifestyle or job because “it’s just not in your cards” and “doesn’t come easily.” It becomes painful to see others living your dreams.

Most people manage jealousy by cutting things out of their lives. They might stop interacting with certain people, following certain content, and researching certain topics.

Let’s discuss a more productive alternative, where you leverage your jealousy for motivation rather than cutting things out completely.

To remove triggers, or to change your mindset?

Have you ever heard “comparison is the death of happiness”? It’s true. This thinking encourages jealous people to stop browsing dream vacations they’ll never afford, and unfollow wealthy influencers that make them hate their lives. And it works to an extent!

However, ignoring jealousy triggers doesn’t fix the core issue. And you can’t live your life with blinders. A more useful tactic is to understand why other people are able to achieve these things, and why you could if you wanted.

Employ an in-control mindset

Next time you hear yourself think “I can’t do __,” try flipping the script. Instead think “I could do __, but it’s not worth it to me.”

This tactic will help you feel happier, more in control, and less resentful.

Here are some examples:

“I could own a business, but the long hours and initial risk aren’t worth it to me.”
“I could be an influencer, but the constant being-on-camera and initial low pay aren’t worth it to me.”
“I could be lean and toned, but tracking my food and exercising daily aren’t worth it to me.”
“I could become a better public speaker, but taking classes and practicing isn’t worth it to me.”
“I could go on my dream vacation, but a high-pressure job that will afford me this luxury isn’t worth it to me.”

Now that you’ve employed an in-control mindset, you won’t think of people who achieve these goals as better than you. They just chose different priorities. You have control to start their lifestyle and mimic their choices any day you choose.

This sort of thinking reduces the pain of jealousy, so you don’t have to have your guard up.